Forgive me. This is how my brain’s been operating. In fact I’m staring at my keyboard and I’m thinking of a million different sentences to start the next and before I can complete that sentence in my head a new one begins.
Hi. I’m back. I got distracted. Please don’t think that these distractions are a reflection of how I feel about you. These distractions are a reflection of how I feel about myself.
I started this journey for myself. To build mental muscles that had been neglected and abused by myself and others over a period of many years. To allow something less important to take priority over the bigger picture for myself is not just losing focus. It’s minimizing the importance of myself. If you have things that you want to accomplish and there’s a lot of hard work involved but you allow distractions to get in the way, maybe its not a distraction at all. Maybe, like me, you struggle with own perceived value. You might feel value-less. I don’t know you but what I do no for certain is that no living thing is value-less – especially humankind.
You know as I type this all sorts of red and purple and yellow colors are alerting me. They’re telling me I have run-on sentences and incorrect spelling and improper tenses or I should reconsider my wording. Sometimes those corrections are what prevent me from clicking the “publish” button. Knowing myself a little better, just a little, and growing my gray area space more and more it’s more important me to get something completed than to have a perfectly edited blog post but incomplete and unpublished. Dang-it – another colorful line!
So forgive me. I told you before that, this wasn’t going to be pretty. And I kindly letting you know again. Perfection is a hindrance and an impossibility. I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t going to correct my spelling. Other than that you’ll get the unfiltered unedited versions of whatever is going through my head and it’s my way of telling you that not only am I worthy and valuable but you are too. For people like us, hearing that is probably hard to believe and accept as truth. But in the distance between truth and untruth or lies it is my baseline belief that this is a fundamental, unquestionably true fact.
I hope I grow in this process to complete thoughts and sentences so that eventually no colored corrective lines appear – oh green – that’s a new one ( I know you cant see them). But until then my imperfect, flawed but completed posts will have to be enough for me and in-turn I hope beyond enough for you.
So let’s get back to doing the hard work.
Until tomorrow may you have peaceful rest and thoughts followed by peaceful actions.
Yep, I said tomorrow instead of next time. I’ve got to start holding myself accountable for a post a day. Because we are worth it.