I showed up. let me try that again. I showed up! In my post yesterday I said something I don’t normally say. I said: “until tomorrow.” Usually I say something to the effect of: “Until next time.” It is comfortable to be non-committal. For me and others like me that battle with suicidallity. That’s interesting. The color red is underlined beneath the word I typed. Suicidality. Again it appears. I told you the only thing I would edit in my posts were my spelling errors. I copied and paste into Google. It confirmed my spelling is correct. There is no spelling error here. Just uneducated AI. Surprise! There are many things AI doesn’t get right.
Let me not speak in terms that are absolute because I am NOT a Doctor. I feel like my finding comfort in things that don’t require a commitment is linked to my illness. In short, if I commit that means I have to exist. This is a journey for all of us to remove or demolish thoughts and ideas that no longer serve us. For me one of those beliefs that must be demolished is that I am unable and incapable of enduring the pain and heartache that comes with existing in this world. So, here I am.
Until tomorrow may you find comfort in knowing that I care about your battles and your struggles and you have a cheerleader in me. I will see you tomorrow. I was gonna say same time same place but that’s too much commitment for me right now. I just progressed to saying “tomorrow”. We’ll talk same time same place further down the road. For right now, let’s just get to tomorrow. Fair enough?
I really am rooting for you. I hope you know that.
I wish you an abundance of peace and if your deserved peace requires that you shed few or many tears I hope you find the courage and vulnerability to let them flow. It is okay.