Please, don’t finish that sentence. Maybe I’m wrong in my thinking and need correction. Maybe this is a lack of growth in my gray area. Or, maybe it just depends on who’s saying it. The moment I hear someone begin their sentence with: “I’m the type of person that…” In my experience it’s usually someone who doesn’t know themselves well at all. Or the source might be wish-washy.
This was what popped into my head to write about this evening. I don’t believe in making absolute statements about what I am. Okay, I just caught myself being hypocritical. I make absolute statements about all the negative things I am. That is true. And I’m working on that. But my argument for why its unreasonable to make absolute statements about what type of person we are is because it is impossible not to change. The world around us changes fast. How can we not be affected by that? Think about the Snickers slogan: “You’re not you when you’re hungry”. Isn’t that it? Low blood sugar can change our mood. Are you the same person then? How are you when you are in pain? Are you the same person? All these outside and internal factors constantly cause us to change our thinking, our mood, our behavior. So while we would like to think that we are absolute in world where absolutely nothing is certain. I argue it’s impossible.
I think that’s healthy thinking. It should lighten our load a little. I am not saying that we should blow whichever way the wind blows – I don’t believe that. And I believe we should have routines that keep us moving forward. I think the statement above is a statement that should be reconsidered.
In an earlier post I said: “I love people”. Let’s compare that to: “I’m the type of person that love’s people.” I don’t know about you, but I feel like I just put millions of people including myself in an unchanging forever box using the latter. Verses: “I love people”, I feel that expression means that I’m allowed to have a few bad days – as I have had – and not feeling the same level of love for people. However, it means my baseline and core belief is that I love people and it gives me room to know and feel it doesn’t have to be shown the same way all the time.
Oh, and don’t get me started when I hear a young(er) person express that same sentence, repeatedly about many different things as to the type of person they are. I feel sorry for them. Because I believe change will be so much harder for people who think they know themselves so well. I have witnessed it with my own eyes. The absolutes they think they know about themselves causes them to resist changes in flawed thinking and behavior and lose out on more potential for happiness.
I believe in discovering what your core values are I do believe you can know yourself very well. But I just think it’s important to know and understand re-evaluation and re-discovery must be ongoing. It’s like the family member or friend we see in the news speaking about someone they thought they knew. Change is inevitable. To keep making positive changes we must be continually self-evaluating. Asking trusted and honest family and friends what they see. Not easy. But worth the work to get the results.
If no-one told you today that they’re proud of you. I’ll do it for them. I am proud of you. Hopefully that’s worth something. Until tomorrow, may you have peace of mind and may your self-talk be oh so kind.
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