I must confess it’s been a minute. That means a long time. I promise you that I while I haven’t been here I have been working on myself. But I apologize to you. While I write this post to strengthen my core – so to speak – I also write this for you. My apologies for being away. I have to apologize because I said I was going to write a post every day. That was the goal for myself. But don’t be offended. My schoolwork is suffering too. Did I tell you I put myself back in school? I’m not sure. But I’m surely going to need more strength to get through it. I made the decision rather haphazardly in hindsight.
I guess the point is I’ve allowed distraction to keep me away from what’s important. It needs to be said that you’re the only person that can decide what’s important for you. You’re the only one who can decide what your priorities are. It’s hard when you’re life is at a crossroads. To decide what should come first is daunting and overwhelming. That is, unless you know what it is that you want. It’s going to be different for each of us. I think a lot of people are uncertain about what they want in life. I’m not talking about a million dollars or a Mercedes or other things that start with “M.” The random letter of choice. I’d like to believe that most of the world knows that these things are not what makes us. We might want them but we know, at least theoretically, they don’t bring lasting happiness. So when I speak of wanting, I think we search for what it is that we can do that makes us feel, not just a sense of purpose, but purposeful.
Here’s what I know about money. It comes and it goes. Also, it can only carry the value that you attribute to it. Meaning, you can choose to think that it is a reflection of your self-worth or not. You assign it it’s value. Just like you assign the value of your priorities. I felt viewed as worthless in the eyes of my soon to be ex-wife because I could no longer afford her along with her habits. I carried on believing within that I was of no value. Worthless. Having little or no money doesn’t make you worthless. It just makes it what it is right now. And like every cycle it will come again. I also learned something else. You have seen all the different headlines talking about how much is enough to retire. Or variations of that. But as we have seen things can change overnight – in the blink of an eye. Longstanding institutions can topple. Just like styles of clothing. What is fashionable one day is unfashionable the next and so on. So it goes, the value of money can also change in the blink of an eye. If you put your energy into thinking that money makes you valuable – what happens to you when it has none. Consider it a possibility. So yes, live your life and keep planning for tomorrow. I am not saying be reckless. Nope, that’s old thinking! But I guess the short of it is anything, money, material positions, even our own lives only has the value you assign to it. Here we’re working on making sure Our life and everyone else is assigned the highest value above all else.
So this is not what I came here to write. But it is what it is. And I guess my original thought still ties in because it’s what prompted this whole creative moment. But I was listening to a song on replay this weekend. I always loved the music but I never got the gist of the song until the other day. Most of the lyrics are sung sound effects. It’s a song by X-Ambassador’s. titled “Boom.” What I realized is the sound effects he’s singing are the result of what he sings in the hook: “Walking away from you.” So of course I made immediate personal application to me – finally starting the divorce process. And the “you” I’m walking away from is my soon-to be Ex-wife. But that song to me is so powerful because it represents what The State of Demolition is all about. Walking away from the beliefs, things, people and behaviors that are unhealthy for us. In that song he sings what noise the heart is making as he walks away and it accurately describes the way our heart responds when we walk away from something that we once found comfort in.
In that song he continues with these lyrics: “I’ve got the same old shoes with a new attitude why should I sing the blues… for you?” So whatever it is we need to walk away from may we each find the courage in the same song with different meaning.
Until tomorrow. May you have peace of mind and may your self-talk be kind.
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