I am about to make what may be a controversial statement. I don’t believe in divorce. I do believe that if the husband or wife violate the marriage vow by being unfaithful in the marriage that is just cause for the innocent mate – the mate who was not unfaithful – to decide if they want to continue on in that marriage or not. That is my personal belief.
Please know, I am aware that some of you have been on either side of this dilemma. regardless of if you were the offender or the offended, all broken hearts and all who have broken hearts are welcome here. What does matter to me is if we’ve taken accountability. The hard truth is we’ve all made a victim of someone and we’ve all been the victim. It is so much easier to accept that we’ve been the victim. Isn’t it? So much harder to accept that we have been the cause of another human becoming a victim. But without first acknowledging both what we’ve been dealt and what we’ve done our growth will be limited. I think we all know that deep inside.
I was contemplating what to write for this evenings post. And I got this tune in my head. The title of the song is what you see above in bold. The lyrics to the song begin with the same words.
I don’t believe in divorce but my wife was unfaithful to me. That doesn’t mean that I did nothing wrong in our marriage. It means I am the one who remained faithful. Hold on, I have to check my motives and make sure they align with my desire to maintain my integrity. Just because you can badmouth someone doesn’t mean you or I should. Our mission here is to thrive. I never imagined it would hurt this much and I never imagined that making a decision would be this hard, especially when the choice is basically being made for you by someone you painfully admit to still loving.
There’s something that we haven’t discussed. We have discussed all-out demolition and we’ve even discussed before taking such a drastic measure to demolish to consider removal and clearing out space. But any demolition estimator will tell you that sometimes a project is simply too much to handle or not worth it and slowly but surely you have to walk away and turn down the job.
I think within me I know what’s best for me. I’m hesitant to type it. But I feel free thinking about it and visualizing it. It’s been a long, slow process making this decision. But as surely as I type is as surely as I will commit to following through with my divorce.
So I leave you tonight with the words of Ms. Jill Scott, a poet and vocal artist. I wish for you to find peace and courage to make the difficult decisions you have to make for yourself and those you love. And carefully consider your options – because you do have them. Sometimes you don’t need a radical solution. As my Doctor always tells me: You always reach for the lowest hanging fruit first. Sometimes it simply means walking away. It’s not cowardice – it’s courage, I will see you tomorrow.
“Slowly, surely I walk away from
That old desperate and tainted love
Caught up in the maze of love
The crazy craze of love
Thought it was good
Thought it was real
Thought it was
But it wasn’t love
I just don’t know where I should go
So slowly, surely I walk away
From self-serving, undeserving
Constantly hurting me love
Deserting me love
You said
I said
We said, but
Slowly, surely I walk away from
Confusing love, misusing love, abusing love
This can’t be
Slowly, surely I walk away from
Self-serving, undeserving
Constantly hurting me love…
Slowly, surely I walk away from love
Slowly, surely one step at a time, but surely
I will pass the old love aside and love me.